Inspired.

So I was just reading this girl's blog, where there was a video of one of my ex-colleague's boyfriend finishing up the 84km adidas sundown ultra marathon. 

All through his race she was there, right behind him, on her bike.

She came here with him from Germany awhile back, and just watching her follow him on her bike is truly inspirational. 

You can practically feel the love emanating from the video - and I'm sure they're going to have their happily ever after.

Anyway, they've definitely inspired me. 

10km adidas sundown marathon - done !

next up - 21km Safra Bay Run in August.

Time to start training again.

"pain is temporary, quitting is forever" - so she quotes.  

Totally.

You know why I started getting excited about taking part in marathons ? Because it was something that I could be proud of. My work (long hours, measly pay) often makes me question my choices, and I can't escape the feeling that I've come so far, only to be so mediocre in life. 

But when I take part in marathons (granted it's only been two), there's a sense of achievement and satisfaction - something that I don't often derive from other aspects of my life. 

Pushing through that feeling when I'm halfway through a run thinking about giving up, and knowing that I'm going to finish this no matter how long it takes is an incredible feeling. 

And just like that, it makes me feel like maybe I'm not such a complete failure in life.

Maybe I should have studied harder back in school, and maybe I should have selected a different major in uni, and maybe I should have pursued a different career path, I don't know, but all I know is that inertia is keeping me from trying something different. As much as I think my job isn't all that satisfying, I know I'd also hate the feeling of switching careers and having to start from the bottom all over again. And I'd hate even more, the feeling of knowing that I never even got very far in this career before giving up.

New beginnings.

Today I closed a chapter in my life, but as with all things - this ending is followed by a new beginning.

I'm truly grateful for the friends I've made in this place - that's right, friends, not just colleagues - and I'm touched that they bothered to put together a 'farewell TBWA game' just for me.

I'm really going to miss the agency, and all the people that I've come to know and love\hate (you know the feeling, it's a love\hate relationship).

Now it's time to get out there and experience all the incredible things, life has to offer.

'go'.

(this 'go' campaign will haunt me for a long time to come, especially since my farewell card and game was all centered around it).

But all the same, I love the brand. I've loved it from the first day I started work on it a little under 2 years ago. It is afterall, the universal currency of life.

It truly is.

I used to think that there was so much I wanted to do with my life.

I wanted to fly high, and see lots. I wanted to travel the world, live in a big city, and have a kickass career. Maybe own my own business.

And the voyeur in me only made it so much worse - it used to be blog surfing, these days it's Facebook. I'd often look at pictures of people's fabulous lives of parties and booze, supplemented by their high-flying 'banking' jobs and whatnot, and I'd wonder to myself how I got to be so medicore in life.

But tonight, as I'm tossing in bed and unable to get to sleep, I'm inclined to look at it from a different point of view.

I'm not sure that this is really what I want in life.

And as a matter of fact, I'm not sure what I want at all.

What's becoming slowly apparent is my envy these days stem not from looking at the pictures of people who seem to have it all - the beautiful, eloquent, rich ones who mix with other beautiful, eloquent rich ones. But rather, the ones who radiate true happiness in their pictures. The ones who don't let their lives be ruled by labels and looks.

I envy people who are natural 'people-persons'. I used to be like that, but it was oh-so-long ago.

I love to death my girls, but just sometimes, I wonder what it'd be like to have a slightly larger group to do things with.

I think I'm rambling, and I'm not at all sure what I'm trying to get at.

Like everyone else, I'm just trying to make my way in life. Figuring out who I am, and where I fit in. And I can only hope that the person I'm growing into, isn't someone I'll come to resent one day, much further down the line.

Good night world.

adidas Sundown Marathon: 13 days to go

And just like that, we're close to finishing up the first half of the year.

It seems like forever ago that I signed up for the adidas Sundown Marathon, and now there's less than 2 weeks to go.

I keep telling myself I'll survive the run. Of course I will.

"I can, I will." - taken from the staff training manual of a certain airline that the boy's working on at the moment, this line just absolutely cracks me up.

And if I can't, "I will say 'no' the 'yes' way".

Whatever does it mean anyway.

Ever since my brother-in-law learnt how to upload songs to his iPod, it's been a early-90s Mandarin/Cantonese song marathon every weekend when I go over to play mahjong. Think Emil Chau and Jacky Cheung.

For some reason, that era of songs always make me a little melancholy. Or maybe it's just Chinese songs in general - very emo.

One of the songs I've particularly taken to is 'Feng Yu Wu Zu' by Emil Chau.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9b4Pnpbx4Q&feature=related

Saturday musings.

It looks all bright and cheery out today, you almost can't tell that it was pouring just half an hour ago.

I know I should be a little more excited with a new job coming up, but I can't help feeling drained by my current still, even though there's only 2 more weeks of it to go.

I want to get myself a new notebook to start a new chapter in my life. I think that's what I'll do.

And a new macbook too while I'm at it - I wish.

Melbourne

Was doing some random blog surfing whilst waiting for my nails to dry.

Came across a blog.

A girl's going to Melbourne for a holiday, and she asked for people to leave comments on where to go, and what to do there.

I read through the comments, and oh how I miss the place.

It was truly my first home away from home, and the place where I did most of my growing up.

I developed a better relationship with my parents, and learnt to appreciate the notion of family that little bit more.

I learnt to drive, and got my very first car - my baby giant.

I learnt to use the washing machine, and the rice cooker (I can cook, I just never had to use a rice cooker before Melbourne and that ain't my fault - my mother is a blast from the past. Still uses a crock pot to cook rice and charcoal to boil soup.).

I learnt that non-electric kettles, should never be left on the fire, in the apartment, whilst you go downstairs to get the mail/take your rubbish out to the chute - I had self-locking doors and because I lived alone, it was A$150 every single bloody time I let the door close on me. I remember many a-time just standing outside my door, hearing the kettle whistle whilst waiting for the locksmith to arrive with my fingers crossed, hoping the apartment wouldn't get burnt down.

Luckily it never did.

I learnt that dishes pile up in the sink really quickly.

I learnt not to put all my clothes in the dryer - most of my pants became three-quarts, and my tees - mid-rift baring little things.

I know now some things can be put in the dryers, and others can't.

I learnt that statistics suck - you know how there's always a margin of error that's allowed on production ? My washing machine was in that margin of error and more than once, did it end up flooding my toilet.

And the repair guy's explanation - "these things happen, margin of error".

I never felt more lonely and alone than I did when I was there, but I wouldn't swap it for anything else.

It's where I learnt to fend for myself.

It's where I got to know myself.

And it's where I really grew up.

I miss the place.

I miss going to Coles in the middle of the night, and picking out my favourite toilet paper. I miss Mondays at Coles - that's when all the tabloids came out (NW was my favourite, but I don't buy them in Singapore - too expensive). I miss not buying grapes because they cost $14.75/kg. I miss buying rocket leaves for $1.99. I miss the South Melbourne market, and the Sweetheart cafe across the road. I miss the Yarra river. I miss walking along Southgate. I miss going to Crown. I miss hearing the fire roar at the head of every hour. I miss driving along King Albert Park towards St Kilda's beach. I miss watching the sunset from King Albert Park on the way home from school - I always turned off to take that route, rather than the 'faster' straight route (according to Jem - though I think my way's more scenic, and it feels faster to me). I miss pumping petrol once every fortnight - and challenging myself to see how long I could go without having to pump petrol. I miss always having my moonroof exposed so that the car would always be filled with a little ray of sunshine/moonlight. I miss driving to Chadstone, and popping into Peter Alexander followed by CottonOn. I miss the instant noodles from the Dessert Cafe in Chinatown. I miss garlic steamed oysters from Pacific House in Richmond. I miss the sushi rolls from SushiSushi. I miss walking to the city on my own, and just strolling through all the 'little' streets (I say 'little' because every other street is 'little x' - so for example it's Bourke Street, then little Bourke street, then Lonsdale, then little lonsdale - but they really are little, so maybe that's what inspired the names) and exploring the eclectic mix of shops that are hidden there. I miss the Vietnamese beef noodles. I miss cooking minced beef every possible way. I miss frying my rice with luncheon meat, egg and apples (yes apples, it's yummy - or at least I think so). I miss Australian rice - it's the short, fat-grained type rice, just like Japanese rice. I miss the peace and tranquility of life there. I miss the anonymity of life there.

And most of all, I miss not feeling like I'm being scrutinised by the type of car I drive, what I'm wearing, where I'm staying or what brand bag I'm carrying.

I miss how everyone is making their own way in life there - you can get a full time job. Or not. You can just work at Coles if that makes you happy.

Either way, you'll survive a decent life.

And that's the most important lesson I learnt there - that your life is a series of choices that you make and you should do what makes you happy because at the end of the day, no one's going to live your life but you.

So don't let others make you feel small, and don't let yourself be judged by the image of others.

Just be a little more oblivious, look in the mirror 2 times less a day and just be happy to be who you are.

go home now little pigeon

Update
Ok, so I didn't go running. oops. Wednesday, I promise !!


Original Post
We did our first semi-real run/jog/walk yesterday evening, since the Stanchart Marathon waaay waaay back in December.

Needless to say, it left me completely pooped beyond pooped.

I left work a little after 6pm, with the intention of going on another such run - no time to waste, the Sundown Marathon is coming up in a little over a month.

It's 830pm now, and I'm still on my bed, watching Weeds.

This absolutely will not do.

In 20minutes, I'm going to pluck my lazy behind off my bed, change into my shorts and tee and go for a run/jog.walk.

Perseverence !