I used to think that there was so much I wanted to do with my life.

I wanted to fly high, and see lots. I wanted to travel the world, live in a big city, and have a kickass career. Maybe own my own business.

And the voyeur in me only made it so much worse - it used to be blog surfing, these days it's Facebook. I'd often look at pictures of people's fabulous lives of parties and booze, supplemented by their high-flying 'banking' jobs and whatnot, and I'd wonder to myself how I got to be so medicore in life.

But tonight, as I'm tossing in bed and unable to get to sleep, I'm inclined to look at it from a different point of view.

I'm not sure that this is really what I want in life.

And as a matter of fact, I'm not sure what I want at all.

What's becoming slowly apparent is my envy these days stem not from looking at the pictures of people who seem to have it all - the beautiful, eloquent, rich ones who mix with other beautiful, eloquent rich ones. But rather, the ones who radiate true happiness in their pictures. The ones who don't let their lives be ruled by labels and looks.

I envy people who are natural 'people-persons'. I used to be like that, but it was oh-so-long ago.

I love to death my girls, but just sometimes, I wonder what it'd be like to have a slightly larger group to do things with.

I think I'm rambling, and I'm not at all sure what I'm trying to get at.

Like everyone else, I'm just trying to make my way in life. Figuring out who I am, and where I fit in. And I can only hope that the person I'm growing into, isn't someone I'll come to resent one day, much further down the line.

Good night world.