NYE

I only got about 6 hours of sleep before I was rudely awakened by some horrid banging from downstairs.

Of course, my mom decided today was a good day (no, make that morning) to get some new doors for the house.

I tried going back to sleep, but couldn't. So here I am at bright as a tomato at 1030am on new year's eve.

I suppose it's not all bad because the sun's shining beautifully today.

I just hope it holds up for the rest of the day.

I can't believe this time tomorrow it's going to be 2011.

Homemade Pesto

That's right.

I chopped, blended and pounded my way to homemade pesto today because Boo likes pesto.

Admittedly, it doesn't quite taste or look like the fancy salad bar variety you pay good money for, but it's homemade with TLC.

And to be on the safe side (i.e. to make sure that he doesn't have to pretend to like it, whilst wanting to hurl), I added lots of greens, cherry tomatoes and mozzarella bits to dress it up.

The end of the year

I can't believe how quickly 2010 has gone by.

In retrospect, I'm grateful it's been a good one.

I feel I've learnt and grown by leaps and bounds, as I do with every new year.

But I'm particularly excited about what 2011 holds.

Turning 27. I always thought I'd get married when I turn 27, but now that it's fast becoming a reality, it doesn't feel like I'm running out of time anymore. I guess they call that growing up, and gaining some perspective.

Starting a new job. The significant thing about this has got to be moving into a new industry, and a whole new role. My whole career I've been in agencies, it's time to see what the other side of the fence is like now. And I hope they really do poop rainbows. But even if they don't, I'll just listen to my Glee* tunes and poop my happy rainbows anyway.

*Now listening to Forget You, featuring Gwyneth Paltrow. It's my happy song of the day. I think Gwyneth is truly one awesome, cool chick.

A new grown-up black bag. As Lulu Guiness says, you can never have too many bags right. And pretty bags (and clothes) for work always makes me look forward to it that much more. It puts a spring in my step for some reason. I've been hunting around for one ever since the faux PVC on my black Egg3 bag started peeling. And they've all either been too expensive, too common, too fancy or just plain ugly. Finally, today I found one and it'll be here in a nice, orange, ribboned box in the next couple of days. I've never seen it in person, but I sure hope photos don't lie.

A healthier me. The late 20s are well and truly here, no more taking my health for granted. Running once a month doesn't constitute a proper work out. And eating a whole (large) bag of chips in one sitting, or 300g of strawberry straps in 6hours just isn't normal. Unfortunately dear body, I'll never treat you like a temple the way celebrities do - with only organic and fresh produce (I honestly don't think I can bid goodbye to junk food) - but I'll certainly try hard to cut back on them. The one exception to the rule would be Parma ham. But even then, I'll try not to buy any Parma home to pig out on. I recently discovered the $28++ appetiser dinner buffet at Basilico which is right next door to my new office - all you can eat Parma ham! So I shall keep it to occasional treats for when I've had a particularly bad day at work, or when I have something good to celebrate. And as a nod to healthy living, I've signed up for a 120-class yoga package for the year ahead. Which works out to about 10 classes a month.

Finding the glow. Let's not forget our largest organ - my skin! Time to put all those beauty products I love to buy, to good use. And to get sufficient daily sleep.

Getting connected. Finally converted to an iPhone. I can't imagine how I survived all this time without it! My new pink, polka dotted Kate Spade cover arrived today. Just looking at it makes me smile. I feel with my iPhone by my side, I'll be able to conquer anything. Apps and maps are totally awesome.

Seeing the world. I loved every minute of our Japan trip this year, and I want to go back for a return visit next year. Maybe a different season this time. Summer, so I'll have to wear less, which means more space in the luggage to bring home food and shopping. I don't think I'll ever tire of Japan.

To 2011!

And here's the song I've been listening to all night.

Home poo

Being back in Singapore is kinda surreal. The only thing running through my mind now, amidst the half-unpacked chaos that is my room, is where my next long holiday destination will be.

Just one day, and already I'm back to the unhealthy eating habits of the Singaporean way.

Where are the easily available bento's and onigiri's from the convenience stores, the freshly made salads, sushi and crepes? The freshly grated wasabi, and the handmade soba noodles with lovingly boiled broth?

Where where where!

I had no chips while I was there. Imagine that. Me. Queen of potato chips. Had. No. Chips!

But back one day and I've already had instant noodles and chocolate cookies.

I feel grossed out with myself.

Bah.

Preparing for war

Tonight we went to Itacho at Ion for dinner - my favourite Japanese restaurant in Singapore.

It's so insanely awesome I could just die. Well, no, not really. But you get the drift, really quite the bomb.

The horrible part is that we waited in line for close to an hour before getting seats. It used to be bad. Now it's disgusting. I solemnly swear to myself to stop telling people about it. I'm just hurting myself, and my tummy.

If anyone asks, "Itacho? Bah. Go to Sushi Tei instead. Much better value for money."

I'll go on a one-woman crusade to smear their good name all over the web. Won't make much of a difference anyway, aside from deterring the late bloomers who haven't yet discovered the place - early bird gets the worm and there's just no more room to accommodate late bloomers.

Anyway, the boyfriend took me there, on the pretext that he owed me an Itacho meal because he made me miss the last time when my family went.

But secretly I think it's because he knows I had a horrible start to the day at work and was trying to do something nice. Or maybe it's coz he just got himself a new job and wanted to celebrate. Either way, it works out.

The food was yummy, and I'm a happy bunny.

After dinner, we hung around for a bit trying to get a cab. As we were about the head up the escalators, I heard the siren call of Marks n' Spencer. Now I don't typically shop at Marks n' Spencer. Not sure why, it's just never seemed that natural to me to buy food there.

But today, it was like a my tummy had a mind of its own and lead me through the gleaming glass doors. I walked down aisle after aisle of food, picking up more than I intended to.

What can I say.

I never could resist a 'get the second one at half price' or 'two for the price of xxx' type of offers.

The huge bag of groceries I walked out with reminded me of only one thing.

We're preparing for war and now, thanks to my weakness for junk for offers, at least we have rations.

If I resent not having time to run now, just wait till September comes.

Somebody wake me up, when September ends.

Choose-day ramble

I can't believe it's only choose-day (tuesday).

I don't really have anything philosphical to say, and really, I'm supposed to be showering and getting ready for bed right this instant.

But for some reason, I'm still glued to the comp. Could be withdrawal symptoms from not having blog-shopped in awhile. Or it could be sheer laziness on my part. But more than likely it's a winning combination of the two.

I think my cookies from yesterday turned out well. I think figuring out (sort of) the heat settings on the oven made a whole load of difference. Who knew!

I packed 6 in a ziplock bag and took it to work to share with my colleagues. I gave one away, and ate the rest in quick succession. I think at some point when one of my colleagues looked over, I might even have hid the bag of cookies under the table just so she wouldn't see it and ask for one - unconsciously of course.

What can I say. There were only 5 left, and 5 cookies really aren't a lot of cookies.

In my world, when you can physically count the number of remaining pieces, it's not a lot.

It's like when I went for steamboat with the girls and ordered 5 (maybe more) plates of beef. They looked at me in shock. But hey! I counted only 4 slices of beef per plate. And 4 x 5 = 20. 20 is not a big number!

Or when I bought strawberry straps from the candy store at the airport. For some weird reason, they had each strap rolled up into a little ball. You could count it as you were putting it into the bag which made it seem less than it probably really was. See, when I buy straps the way it's normally sold - i.e. just laid out in stacks horizontally, I just grab a bunch not knowing how many I'm getting. And when I buy them that way, the unknown figure keeps me on my tops and adds to the experience of discovery - and hence, probably distracts me long enough to make it seem like it's quite a lot.

The long story short, it bothers me when I can count the number of remaining pieces.

I like handfuls of things. Random numbers. Mystery and best of all, surprise!

You know, like when you dig out another whole chip from the bottom of the bag, just when you thought you were done with it all!

Ah. The gratification.

Sometimes, the way I'm able to ramble on when I didn't start out with anything to say amazes me.

Good night!

Baking Orange Chocolate Chippers

"A lot of good gamers can be good bakers coz it's all about using your thumb", he says.

After work today I thought it'd be fun to bake some cookies - we're still on a quest to perfect this recipe for Orange Chocolate Chippers. You might have read about the last attempt in a post below.

I don't know if it's just me, but I find you can never really follow recipes to a T. There are always tweaks you have to make due to availability of ingredients and/or utensils, and also to suit your tastebuds.

I think it's a conspiracy amongst cooks everywhere - they publish books and blogs with recipes on the pretense of 'sharing', but come on, nobody really wants to give away the real secret to yummy food so they make it as generic and elusive as possible. And they make it sound like it's the easiest thing in the world to do, so much so that you feel dumb if you don't get it right; and then because you feel dumb, you probably won't ask questions because you think people might laugh at you which only serves to further propagate the conspiracy that the recipe rocks - and there we go, full circle.

So that's where we are with the Orange Chocolate Chippers - still on the road to perfection. Doesn't help that I haven't quite decided if they taste best as crunchy cookies, or slightly soft chewy cookies.

Before getting down and dirty in the kitchen, we had to make a quick stop by the supermarket to pick up the ingredients.

And of course at the supermarket, he got distracted at the 'tv shopping section' where they sell things like the Jack Lelaine power juicer and some magic mop.

Ingredients

1 cup of vegetable shortening

3/4 cup of sugar

3 ounces of cream cheese softened

2 eggs

as much orange zest as you like (i usually use between 1 - 2 oranges)

2 teaspoons of vanilla essence

2 1/3 cups of all purpose flour

1 teaspoon of salt

as much chocolate chips as you deem fit

Method

1. Pre-heat oven to 170 deg c.

Now I have a lot of settings on my fancy schmancy Ariston oven (you can check them out at mayer.com.sg) and I never know which one to use. But in my mind, it just made sense to turn on the setting with the line (straight or squiggly) on the top because I'm trying to cook them.

I've since learnt otherwise - that I should be using the one with the line on the bottom rather than the top. It's for reasons unbeknownst to me, but I'm letting you in on the secret, in case you were just like me, lost.

In a bid to get a better grasp on this baking thing, I've tried googling what the symbols mean, and also read up on what people suggest as the best setting for baking. Turns out, you find nothing helpful.

I came across a couple of sites where some supposedly great baker took a stab at unravelling this great mystery. The answers did nothing for me, but the comments to the post raved about how awesome said bakers were for finally helping them understand all the ten million and one settings. Again, reinforcing my belief that it's all a bloody conspiracy.

So anyway, now you know. Just turn the oven on, and randomly select one of the ones with the line at the bottom - I chose the one with also a symbol that looks like a fan.

2. Mix shortening, sugar and cream cheese in a bowl

If you're sadistic (or lazy like me), take the cream cheese straight out of the fridge and put it into a bowl. It'll be a bitch to mash up, especially when you use just a wooden spatula and lots of grit. This was his job, naturally. Partly because he was asking for something to do (as usual), and partly because this is usually the bit I dread most. I usually like monopolising the fun bits like dropping the dough onto the tray. Makes me feel all nice and good-mother-materially.

Now shortening, truth be told, I didn't have a clue what this was - still don't for sure, but at least now discovered there are two types you can buy. One that comes in a generic, non-descript plastic box that you can buy at fairprice. or another that comes in a fancy pants packaging, branded Crisco. I've tried both, and they taste vastly different. can't say which is the better one though because it really comes down to personal preference but if you have to pick one, I'll say go for the Crisco because it says 50% less saturated fats than butter on the packaging, and also because they have these cool markings that tell you how much you're using without the need for pesky measuring cups!

Mush it all up with the sugar till it's a nice, creamy texture.

3. Add eggs, orange zest and vanilla essence

This is my favourite part because the orange zest smells so good! The original recipe called for two tablespoons of orange zest but how do you measure that anyway. So I say just grab a couple of oranges, a grater and go at it till your arms get sore. For me, that's usually somewhere between orange 1 and orange 2.

Next, add in the eggs and becareful to scoop out any red disgusting bits from the egg - you don't want any little chicks hatching in your belly. Yes, I also believe that brocoli's will sprout whole colonies along the inside walls of my large intestines. Not really. I just remove the red bits because I find them gross. He's not quite so particular, but he's also quite easily ignored on such occasions.

And then add in the vanilla essence. I used these cute heart-shaped spoons I got as a door gift at a friend's wedding recently.

4. Sift together floor and salt into mixture

Cups always confused me because I have cups of all sizes in my cupboard, up till today that is. We picked up a measuring cup thingy with markings from the supermarket because I'm really feeling like I could be a good mama baker one day who makes her own cookies and jam for her children.

This is also when he abandoned the wooden spatula and went in with his hands - thus explaining the quote above.

5. Stir in chocolate chips and drop cookie dough onto a tray for baking

I honestly think that you should just go nuts with the chocolate chips and put in as much (or as little) as you like. It's your perogative and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Finally, play cookie god by dropping the cookie dough onto the trays. As cookie god, you get to decide the fate of each and every cookie. How big or small each one is, how brown they get and whether or not they'll be loved.

It'll make your day if you're slightly fluffy like me. I said fluffy not insane.

Put the tray into the oven to bake, and check periodically. They'll be done when they're just lightly browned. Mine usually take anywhere between 30-40minutes - I honestly cannot for the life of me figure out why the original recipe said something like 10-12 minutes. It could possibly be that I haven't figured out the settings on the oven, or more likely that said recipe-writer didn't want to share the real recipe and so throws you off with mis-information like the above - again, conspiracy conspiracy conspiracy I tell you.

But anyway, the end result is pretty yummy.

Ever the emo kid

Now listening to: "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds Five

I had a flashback earlier of my teenage years. The excitement of entering secondary school, discovering the internet (making friends on the internet! sexual predators who prowled the web weren't as prevalent back then.), meeting boys.

Growing up some more, becoming somewhat withdrawn, fighting with my parents, going through phases (long hair, short hair, jap-inspired clothes, american ghetto, american high school slut - think midriffs, it wasn't less is more, it was just less and less).

Dropping out of ballet class. Finding my way back to ballet class. Dropping out of ballet class again.

Making it through the Singapore education system.

Leaving Singapore for Melbourne.

Growing up a WHOLE lot.

And through it all, I would say that songs were the constant that accompanied me through each phase of my life. I've always been more the emotionally-driven type of person, and songs are my universal language of feelings.

They take me through highs and lows, and can transform my mood from depressed one minute, to chirpy the next.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm emotionally unstable, but even just hearing a few strains of a somewhat emo song can transport me back in time to a period of moodiness and depression. It runs a shiver down my spine, and I hurry to click 'next' to move on to the next song.

I was thinking today what the soundtrack of my life would be. What songs would I select to chronicle my quarter of a century (plus one) so far.

It's a tough choice.

You know, I find song selections an extremely personal thing because I hold it so close to heart. I will never play a mixed CD when in a car with people not in my immediate bubble (and that's a very very small bubble with probably a population of one and a half - the half being Mikey). I instinctively reach for the 'FM' button on the dashboard as soon as someone steps in. I'm not sure why but it makes me feel vulnerable. Almost like I'm exposing myself, uncensored. And I find that disconcerting.

I think when someone makes you a mixed CD it's an extremely romantic gestures. It's almost as personal a message as writing a letter.

But that's just me - ruled by emotions.

I like words. I don't like people.

I like words, I always have. I find solace in it whenever I'm unhappy, and joy in it when I'm well, happy.

I don't like the spoken word as much as I do the written word. And I guess that's why I don't like people very much. I'm not a social-social type of girl, and 'mingling' (I hate the word) exhausts me. Sitting around over a beer (which I don't drink), smiling and finding things to say people you don't really know makes me want to hurl. I'd much rather be in bed with a book.

Of course there are times when going out with friends/colleagues can be nice. But for the most part, it's not something I enjoy. It is something I struggle with working in advertising - and sometimes, to a certain extent, with him.

People who work in advertising always like 'going out for a drink' after work. My boss is always trying to 'buy me a drink' after a gruelling week, and no. I don't want to. Like how some people draw the line at adding colleagues and clients on their Facebook page, I'll happily add you on my Facebook page but I draw the line at hanging out over a drink (most of the time).

He's a lot more social and emotionally stable than I am, and often encourages me to 'go out more'. This statement usually infuriates me to no end because I think (1) you should know me by now, and (2) yes, I know, I don't drink, and if that's such a big problem go find yourself a girlfriend who does so you can do cool yuppie-type stuff like hang out over beer and mussels at Robertson Quay.

Of course I know he doesn't mean it that way. But what can I say, I'm just an emotional person who has a flair for dramatics - and really good at throwing the drama tantrums too, if I do say so myself.

He on the other hand is just a social person by nature, and hates that I coop myself up all the time because I have a tendency to let my thoughts run wild, or get all emo and just want to curl up into a ball and die. I agree it's not healthy, so sometimes, just sometimes, I make the effort to go out after work with my colleagues and resist the urge to leave as soon as possible.

Usually after a couple of hours I start looking at my watch to hurry time along so I can leave at a legitimately late hour like past ten.

I'm not sure why I dislike socialising so much, because I was quite the opposite during my early teens. I used to love going out in big groups and organising ginormous get-togethers. I guess people change.

I attribute my affection for words to my parents who drowned me in books, growing up. It's true till today I still don't know what a noun or a verb is, but I guess that's part of the reason I like words so much. It's something I express based on feeling, it's not a learned habit/skill.

Last day on earth

We had a morbid, but light-hearted conversation about death over dinner the other day. Since my somewhat depressive state last year (has it really been a year, wow) I've been fixated on the idea of dying young.

And even when I think about it now, I can't see the flaw in that plan.

Anyway, this conversation started again because he did some fortune telling thing with a colleague at work. And according to this colleague, his fate said that he would have a wife who died early.

I tried asking him for more details which he either knew and didn't want to reveal, or honestly didn't know because he didn't want to dwell on it.

So naturally, being the curious eager beaver I am, I wouldn't let it go. Till he looked up from his food and gave me the saddest little look before saying, "it makes me sad to talk about it. can we not, please.". And then I zipped it.

His response caught me a little by surprise.

Even now, whenever I see glimpses of genuine love in his words, actions, tone and manner, it never fails to warm my heart, and touch a little place so deep within I didn't even know it existed.

So as much as I sometimes think I'd like to die young, I feel sad at the prospect of leaving him behind. I don't want to make him sad, because he's not a sad boy. He's cynical, yes, and sometimes evil, but for the most part, he's a genuinely simple happy boy. There's a certain childlike naivety about him that I see and I'd hate to be the reason for him not to be.

And to sum this post up, I just watched Nickelback's Far Away music video. Something about the song makes me feel like it would be a nice way to end my life. It's kinda like the song you play when the credits roll, and you see flashbacks.

What I did over the long weekend

It was Singapore's 45th birthday yesterday, but more importantly a long weekend!

I feel so unpatriotic saying this out loud, but it's true! The past few weeks at work have been really grueling, so this break was more than welcome.

Friday night I watched Airbender. It was crappity poo, probably just enough mental complexity and texture for a 5 year olds.

Saturday I had lunch at Old Airport Road food centre. Was a little grumpy because I spent the morning on the potty emptying out my tummy, which translated into a very hungry and light headed Kim. But all was well as soon as I laid my hands on a cheese pancake from Aunty Oats.

Spent the rest of Saturday playing mahjong.

Sunday woke up early to watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice - now that was a good show. Loved the soundtrack, in particular this one track by One Republic. The title eludes me now and I don't feel like opening up my iTunes to check.

Went home after the show for a nap - afternoon naps are always required on weekends when I wake at any hour earlier than noon.

Woke up and went for a run. Not really. Well, kinda. We set out from home towards ECP at a comfortable pace (for me anyway). The plan was that I'd leave him at the exercise station to carry on with his manly sets (he gets down and dirty with the other boys there, literally! It's a grubby outdoor exercise station and I hate it when he tries to make me lie down on the floor to do sit-ups), and I would continue on towards Maccas. I got about as far as big splash with my left hip joint started hurting. I tried to hobble on for a bit but the pain, combined with the smoke and the masses of people melted my resolve so I turned around and headed back.

Reached the exercise station, whined a little about the pain to elicit some sympathy and head off any intentions he might have had about me getting down on that grubby floor to do some sit-ups.

Plan worked!

Waited for him to be done, and then we headed home to shower.

Went out again to Old Airport Road for dinner. Decided to stop at NTUC after dinner to pick up some groceries. Hit on a brain wave to bake some cookies (Orange Chocolate Chippers), so picked up ingredients for that purpose. Discovered the existence of shortening, and that it was sometimes used in lieu of butter. Felt quite kitchen-savvy and contemplated starting a blog to write about my awesome cooking adventures. The thought lasted for all of 2minutes before I decided it was too much hard work what with the pictures and the writing. The writing I can do, but pictures exhaust me.

Went home. Made the cookies. Made him take pictures of me making the cookies. He took about two, before he got bored and insisted on wanting to 'stir' something. I gave him the mixing bowl and handed him the ladle. He mushed it around in the bowl for a bit and started whining about how hard work baking was.

Yes, he who often goes on about how if he wasn't working in advertising he would be a chef.

He who makes up stories of his (hypothetical - a point he often conveniently omits) awesome cooking adventures. I kid you not. Here's a guy who randomly pulls stories out of his ass about "this one time, when he made this really delightful salmon steak" with "tips from his really famous chef friend". Both are works of fiction.

But in his defense, it could very well be true.

That brought us to a story he once told me in our early days when we were talking about food. He went on for about five minutes about a really yummy garlic herb butter fried rice he's supposedly great at making.

I turned to him and said "that was a lie wasn't it!".

And all this time I thought he made really yummy garlic herb butter fried rice.

Back to our Orange Chocolate Chippers. I gave him a little demo and he soon got the hang of it. Our cookies were a little soft coz we couldn't figure out the settings on the oven, but I have to say, they tasted pretty damn good!

After the cookies, I still wasn't ready for bed and since we were trying hard to save up for our Japan trip, I decided to write another piece for CLEO. It was a confession on my blog-shopaholic ways - how ironic because that's where all my money goes every month.

Finally, we went to bed.

The next day, we woke again for lunch and were back in bed for a nap by 2pm. Told you afternoon naps were a requisite whenever we wake earlier than 12.

Had to do a bit of work in between, but we spent most of the day doing not much at all.

And that's how the weekend blew by.

How much is too much personal information?

The Internet is a strange place. One in which people seemingly say or do things freely, with no regard for its consequence on the real world.

And I guess ten years ago, it was probably true.

Cyberspace and the real world, were as far apart as cheese blocks and me (it's far because I'm craving one now, and don't have one. Maybe that metaphor doesn't make sense, but whatever. You get my point.)

But that's no longer the case. And hasn't been for awhile now.

It all started with blogs. The voyeuristic nature in people get stirred up when they stumble across blogs whose owners offer more than just a cursory glimpse into his/her lives. Don't you think the most intriguing reads are the ones where they write like no one's reading? The ones where you can imagine the sort of person he/she would be in real life.

Reading someone's blog can be a very personal affair.

I remember more than one occasion, stumbling across someone's blog, spending days reading it, and then actually bumping into the person in real life. Once, I was in a lift at my place in Melbourne. The lift doors opened, and in stepped this guy whose blog I'd been reading. I knew he lived in Melbourne through his blog entries, but had no idea he lived in the very same building that as I!

Anyway, he stepped in and I felt like I knew him forever. I knew what he had for dinner the night before, I knew where he went the weekend before. I knew his friends by name and face through the pictures on his blog, and that he had just celebrated his 26th birthday.

But yet I didn't know him.

The him I saw in person, didn't look anything like the friendly guy he came across as in his blog.

Then the lift doors opened, and he walked out.

It was a strange encounter. For me anyway.

But it's occasions like this that make me think that it's probably true I can sometimes be too quick to judge people on face value.

Just today I had another such moment.

There's a lady I know through work. Now we haven't been working together all that long, and to be honest, I think she's a bit of a strange cookie. In fact, I always stifle a laugh when she talks because I find her weird and a little off her rocker.

Today, on my way to dinner, I decided to surf FB on my phone. By some connection or another, I found myself ending up on her blog, and to be honest, I liked the person who wrote those entries.

She was neither weird nor strange. She was a mother with two loving children. Children who made her loving gifts for mother's day. She liked going for morning runs, and I could go on, but frankly, is just an all round smarter, sweeter person than I gave her credit for.

I felt ashamed for judging her.

And told myself I would make more of an effort to get to know people before judging in future.

But my point is this. It's scary how easy it is to access information about someone on the Internet. It's true we probably give away more than we should. But how much is too much?

And anyway, I'm not sure we can stop this digital revolution anywhere.

It's a decade too late.

Being grateful.

As I walked down the corridor of a HDB block yesterday evening, I couldn't help but look into the windows. I could see kids playing in the living room, teenagers surfing on the internet and parents watching tv.

I saw one particular apartment that only had an old CRT TV and an overturned carton - which acted as a makeshift table of sorts - in the living room.

I turned to boo to ask, "why is their place so sparsely furnished?". In my mind a scene of people carting home tables, chairs, boxes and plants from Ikea suddenly appeared.

"Because some people don't have a lot of money baby", he responded.

It was a simple and truthful answer.

Hearing the sounds of the television and of kids playing, it all felt very surreal.

I stepped into the lift and looked around again. It was tiny, slightly claustrophic and had a black-and-white printed A4 sheet selling something or another for $1,000.

I kept away from the walls of the lift which was kind of grotty.

And then I felt afraid, and inched closer to him for comfort.

He looked at me, patted my arm and smiled.

The only thing I could think about on the way home was "how, how do they live with people looking in their windows all the time?".

I read online that over 80% of Singaporeans live in HDB flats.

And all of a sudden I felt very sheltered.

I thought of the dinner we had a few weeks back at Ichiban Boshi. I was just in a mood, and went crazy with the food, ordering every other thing on the menu; while he ordered just a soba and tempura set.

15minutes in, it was obvious I wasn't going to be able to finish the food so I started eating just the toppings of the sushi, leaving behind the rice.

He hates wasting food. So he told the waitress to pack up his uneaten soba, and started eating my leftover sushi rice with his tempura.

It made my heart ache to see him eating my leftovers, and I tried more than once to take it away. But he wouldn't let me.

And so I sat there, watching him finish his meal. Never once reprimanding me.

But strangely, in doing what he did, I felt more ashamed of myself than I would have if he had taken to giving me a lecture on how the children in Africa are starving.

Being with him makes me want to be a better person.

Hiccups, bumps and listening.

*poof*

*pop*

*wham*

That's the sound of blueberries and chocolate chips popping out all over the place, and not getting replaced quite as quickly.

I only have so many band aids, and I'm trying to put them to good use. But it doesn't seem to be working. They're falling out quicker than I can patch up the wonky holes.

"He's being unreasonable", she said.

"No she's being unreasonable", he said.

So what happens from here?

I went to a workshop a couple of weeks back. It was about Negotiation Skills. And I was told that the key to this (which can be applied in everything you do) is learning the lost art of listening.

Listening is a tricky thing. It's not the same as hearing, internalising and actioning. And it takes more effort than you think because it means putting aside your thoughts for the moment, and taking on those of someone else's. Finding the meaning in the words, and the motivations behind them.

It's something I'm learning.

And trying to do better.

But it's an uphill battle all the way.

And when I encounter those hiccups and bumps in my journey, I can't help but wonder if the listening is all that important. Does it really matter that every spoken word is addressed?

In fact, does it even really matter if I make my point? Because when you think about it, all that matters is the end game.

So should it matter if what I'm saying is right or wrong?

What's the point of the 'right', when all I really want at the end of the day, is sunshine and chunk-a-lot of happiness.

But again of course, a lot easier said than done.

Is anybody out there?

Hello world. It's been awhile since I wrote. Mostly because work takes up so much of my time and energy.

Tonight I'm going for Marketing's Agency of the Year awards night.

I feel like the past 3years+ of my working life has been a strange journey. It's neither long nor short, but one thing's for sure, I can't claim to be a fresh grad anymore.

I have a love-hate relationship with advertising. It's larger than life, with ego's a-plenty, and lots of people I just want to stomp into the 7th level of hell but yet, I don't know anything else outside of it.

There was a time not too long ago when I tried to take myself out of it. To try something new.

But it wasn't to be, and I found myself right back here.

I've decided now that the only way to survive this is if work made up just 50% of my life. Right now it's closer to 99%, which is why I surmise, when anything goes belly-up at work, it literally sucks the life-force out of me and makes me want to curl up into a ball and die.

So 50% it's going to be.

And we'll take baby steps, starting with muay thai and marathons. Which is ironic because I've gone from killing myself emotionally, to killing myself physically.

Oh well.

At least it's something else.

Twilight: Eclipse

I haven't updated this space in awhile, and I really need to go shower now but I just saw news that Twilight: Eclipse is going to be release in June!

Which means we have only two short months to watch, and re-watch the first and the second ones (ironic I can't remember their titles right this minute, even though I'm one of those swoony girls in the cinema. it's probably coz I only watch it for Edward.) before the third one comes out.

Hang tight baby!

Keeping my head above the water

It's been awhile since I last wrote, and a month since I started my new job. Work has been crazy from day 'go', and not showing any signs of easing up.

It honestly feels like anything that can go wrong at work, will go wrong. And I constantly feel like I'm racing against the clock to get things done.

The 12-14 hour days, including some weekends has left me drained. It sure feels a lot longer than a mere month, and a short one at that!

I guess the one thing I can be thankful for is that my team is great. Everyone's been very helpful and patient with my many questions, and it's made the transition process that little bit easier.

It's the last day of the Lunar New Year today.

I feel like my life has come full circle in the past year. But still I can't help being a little moody tonight.

Monday is coming again, all too quickly.

Just keep swimming

It's only my 3rd day of work, but already I feel like I've been there forever. In a tired kind of way.

Day 1 I was able to leave at about 640pm.

Day 2 I left at 930pm.

Day 3 I left at 830pm.

There's so much going on at the moment and I'm just trying to wrap my head around it all, whilst proving my worth - which is extremely hard when you're unable to value-add in meetings because you don't have sufficient background.

Everything I do, it takes me twice as long because I haven't gotten accustomed to the acronyms (there are like 10 million), the names of the clients (who does what), the various stakeholders and the campaign itself.

So for now, I'm still floundering, trying to find my way.

But I will say this. I like what I know of the place, the work and the clients so far.

Love \ Love

I want to know what love is.

The Mariah Carey rendition.

The MTV isn't particularly well done, but there's something incredibly soulful and moving about her voice that just makes you want to stop and listen.

I also realised yesterday evening that I now have three versions of this song in my iTunes. I guess it's a popular song.

And speaking of love, I found another yesterday.

But I got it in ash brown instead of the black you see above. I've been thinking about it for months but could never bear to part with the money.

Till now; egged on by Tannie (I call her "little voice in my head"). This is the 2nd most expensive item I have ever bought myself. The 1st would be my MacBook.

I never liked big wallets before, and this isn't exactly huge, but it's bigger than what I'm used to.

I have realised in the past year that I am appreciating the things I have, more and more. I was never one to take exceptionally good care of my phone/wallet/bag/clothes/shoes, but I find myself doing so now.

It's scarily easy to spend money, and I don't want to grow old only to realise that I have flitted away all I have. I don't want to have to depend on my children or anyone else financially. I want to be able to support myself. And I think that's the best lesson my parents have ever taught me.

Another bum off the street

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm so excited to be going to work on Monday !

I'm sure in a couple of months I'm going to be moaning about the weekly grind, but for now, I'm excited.

I was without a job for about 2 and a half months, and I remember thinking at some desperate point that a career-switch would be good or me. I thought I'd be happy as a digit who shopped at G2000.

Turns out, I wasn't. And thankfully, the universe thought so as well.

I am a fluffy person, and I belong in this fluffy world of greys. It's where I'm comfortable, and where I enjoy being.

"Hello Monday!"

Japanese !

Fresh from my attempt at cooking Thai (which didn't go too badly at all), I decided that tonight I would do Japanese.

The Menu

Miso Soup

Ebi and Sweet Potato Tempura

Japanese Rice

Dish 1 - Miso Soup

Anyone can mix paste with water, so I decided to make it a little fancier.

Ingredients: Miso paste, half a white onion, enoki mushroom, tofu, nori

METHOD:

1. Don't worry, you only have to chop the onion roughly into cubes; it won't take very long and therefore, won't leave you all weepy. Put them in a pot with some oil, and saute for awhile. Use only a wee bit of oil or your soup be really oily.

2. Pour in some water quickly while standing as far as you possibly can from the pot. There will be a slight cackle and pop from the initial contact of the water with the pot.

3. Bring to a boil then lower heat and simmer for about half an hour.

4. Add miso paste, nori, tofu and enoki mushroom. Stir till cooked. If you find that the nori and enoki mushroom are a little too chunky, you can do what I did. Which is to take a pair of scissors, put it into the pot and just snap randomly.

5. Tada, ready to serve !

Dish 2 - Tempura

Ah, this one takes lots of skill. One which I have yet to master. But I'll try, try again. You can use anything you want, but I used sweet potato and prawns today.

INGREDIENTS

Sweet potato

Prawns

Tempura flour

Tempura dipping sauce

Check out this mother-of-all sweet potatoes, it was ginormous !

And it took me a good 15minutes to slice it all like so. I kid you not, this takes some real arm strength. Lucky for me, handygirl Kim has been working out by way of assembling my Ikea furniture. Ignore the darker-coloured ones in the foreground, those are steamed sweet potatoes that were left over from my mom's lunch.

Prawns, which should be curled like so for optimum freshness.

It occurred to me as I was taking the prawns out of the packet that tempura prawns are usually served straight. By that logic, the me-before-learning-that-fresh-prawns-are-curled would have gone straight for the stretched out prawns. But now that I know better, I had another dilemma on my hands. How does one get their prawns straight ?

So naturally, I googled it.

Literally.

"How to straighten tempura prawns"

And what do you know. I'm not the only one who wonders that !

I came across a few sites which basically told me to make 2-3 slits at the bottom of the prawn. So I did. But that didn't make removing the veins very easy at all, so I decided to just slit the whole of the bottom. What is the deal with 2-3 slits anyway. By the time you do that, you've practically slit the whole bottom.

2 to 3 prawns in, I noticed another black thing dangling off the top portion of the prawn. I didn't realise there was another one at the top ! I guess you learn something new everyday. Anyway, de-veining prawns isn't something I normally do. I only did it because they said to do so in the recipes I came across. I never really saw the point to it though.

Once all that's prepared, we can start !

METHOD

1. Mix tempura flour with cold water. I read on one of the sites that you should put an ice cube in as well to keep it cold, so I did. I also read that you shouldn't mix the batter too evenly, and that it should have some lumps in it. So I did that too.

2. Heat the oil.

3. Dip the sweet potato / prawn in the batter, and slide into the wok. Let it sizzle and swim around till golden brown, or whatever the colour usually is when you have it at restaurants.

4. Remove and set on a plate laid with paper towels to absorb the oil.

5. Serve with tempura dipping sauce.

This was the sauce and flour I picked up from Cold Storage.

Dinner! Admittedly the prawns didn't quite turn out the way it's supposed to, but it tasted alright I think. Better luck (and skill) next time !

My new room

Handygirl Kim

I went to Ikea today to pick up the last of the pieces to complete my wardrobe - a 100cm clothes rail, and 2x 50cm wire baskets. Because they weren't available when I got all the other bits delivered and assembled, I had to install these myself with my handy $9.50 orange toolbox.

I truly detest assembling Ikea furniture - something I discovered during my Uni days in Melbourne.

It's just something I never get right.

I lived with a half-assembled desk in Melbourne for two years before I finally decided to discard it. It wobbled because I couldn't get the legs screwed in properly, and what was meant to be drawers were not able to be used because I fitted some pieces in the wrong way.

And that's just one example of many.

But I figured I wouldn't have too much problem with the clothes rail and the baskets, after all, it was just a matter of screwing 4 screws in, each.

I succeeded in the task (I hope), but my hands are all blistery now and I just want to get into bed and feel sorry for myself.

A Thai Attempt

Fresh from my Phuket escapade, I decided to attempt a Thai meal for dinner.

The menu:

1. Pineapple Chicken with Oyster Mushroom
2. Deep Fried Morning Glory
3. Tom Yum Seafood Soup
4. Rice

I'm not a particularly expert cook, but I figure that I've grown up watching enough people cook (mom, aunties, sisters, Yan - of 'Yan can cook fame') so how hard could it be right ? I can just go on gut and a little improvisation, like I normally do with just about everything.

Dish 1 - Pineapple Chicken with Oyster Mushroom

INGREDIENTS
Fresh pineapple (cut into cubes)
Chicken breast (cut into cubes)
Oyster mushroom (randomly sliced)
Garlic
Oyster Sauce
Corn flour
Water

METHOD
i. Coat the chicken in some corn flour and deep fry in a wok, then set aside on a plate that's been laid with some kitchen towels (paper not cloth) to soak up the oil.

ii. Oil in pan; for some reason, I don't seem to have a frying pan at home. It's a recent development. I suspect my mom threw it out as part of her 'new year spring cleaning' routine. She's quite strange, she throws out/gives away things we need, and keep the things we don't. For example, no frying pan but we do have 5 pots. So anyway, I heated up some oil in a pot and fried the garlic. I didn't use the wok because it was filled with oil from the earlier deep frying, and too hot for me to clear.

iii. Add the oyster mushroom, some water and continue frying. The oyster mushroom that my mom got from the market was of a curious variety, it's huge ! I've never seen anything like it. At least the size of three of my fists.

I wasn't sure what to do with it, so I just sliced it up randomly like so (see below).

iii. Add chicken and pineapple cubes, some oyster sauce and water and let it simmer for a bit then it's done !

Dish 2 - Deep Fried Morning Glory

INGREDIENTS
Morning glory
Tempura battter
Sweet chilli sauce to accompany

METHOD
i. Mix your tempura flour with some ice water - that's what I gathered from the couple of recipes I read on 'how to make tempura'. It's supposed to add extra crisp to the final product I think. For good measure (and because the weather was so hot), I decided to toss in an ice cube as well and let it slowly melt whilst I took my time coating and frying the morning glory.

ii. Heat oil lots of oil in a huge wok.

iii. Take a bunch of morning glory, sort of fold it into half and then coat it in the batter. I used tongs to hold on to it coz I wasn't sure how it was meant to be done. And if you were me, you'd fry this one bunch at a time because the oil splatters like crazy. So take the bunch of batter-coated morning glory drop it into the oil (gently), and then step away while it splutters. After about 30-40 seconds (or when it stops spluttering), it's safe to step in and turn it around. When it's slightly brown, take it out and let the oil dry again on some paper towels.

iv. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

v. Serve with sweet chilli sauce.

It should look like so.

Dish 3 - Tom Yum Seafood Soup

INGREDIENTS

Tom Yum Paste

Shallots

Lemongrass

Tomatoes

Prawns (with head)

Squid

Straw Mushrooms

Chicken Stock

METHOD

i. First, prepare all your ingredients like so, so it's all handy.

Straw mushrooms, shallots, lemon grass, tomatoes

Squid (again, wasn't sure how it should be cut, so I just sliced it into random bite-sized pieces), prawns - separate the heads, and de-shell the body. Just a tip from my boyfriend the Nat Geo geek, when picking prawns you should also pick those that are curled up. It means they're fresher than their stretched out counterparts. I can't remember why though.

METHOD

i. Some oil in a pot, stir fry the shallots and lemongrass and prawn heads. Add water, chicken stock and tomatoes then bring to a boil.

ii. Add tom yum paste, I used this that I got from the airport on the way back from Phuket - we had some spare Baht. Let it simmer for about 20 minutes.

iii. Add the seafood, and you're done !

Tom Yum Soup and Pineapple Chicken

Tip: If for some reason your tom yum soup turns out too spicy or sour, just add some Oyster Sauce. I know it sounds weird, but I learnt this from my good friend Den back in Uni. "Oyster sauce fixes everything!", he says.

I Heart Phuket!

We decided to kick 2010 off with a short trip to Phuket. Now, Phuket's never registered on my radar as a place-I'd-love-to-go though I've always been aware of its existence, nor have I ever been particularly taken with the idea of 'island holidays' - most notably because the islands round here aren't exactly the Maldives, and also because I'm not really into water sports, plus the sun gives me heat rash.

How wrong I was.

Yes, by virtue of its location - within Thailand - Phuket was already three strikes down because I've been conned almost every single time I go to Bangkok. And yes, Phuket isn't exactly the Maldives but it was oh-so-very charming in its own way.

Phuket and I, we fell in love over the course of a 3N/4D adventure.

Pre-Trip Prep

"are you sure we need all that stuff ?! we're only going to Phuket you know... a TOURIST destination, not trekking in the himalayas"

Putting together a first-aid kit, he's cute like that

Mikey the Saint Bernard - armed and ready to go

Day 1

We had to wake at the crack of dawn to catch a 9.25am flight from the Budget Terminal. Check-in was swift and we settled in at Maccas after for a nice, comforting (I always think of Maccas as comfort food) breakfast whilst discussing the silliness (or not) of their recent 12 zodiac Happy Meal giveaway, sans the boar. My brother-in-law said that if they were creative at all they would have nicknamed Cupid (the boar's replacement) 'Cupig' or 'Cutepig'. Quite funny, no ?

Anyway, a short flight later we landed in Phuket. Customs was an excrutiatingly long process, made only a little more bearable by the entertainment provided by a French dude who had some sort of tussle with the customs officers. I did what any Singaporean would do and stared quite undiscreetly while our line inched ever-so-slowly forward.

After exiting customs, we opted for the bus to take us to our hotel. Two reasons, we were on a budget of S$150 each, and we have had many (many many many) bad experiences with Thai taxi drivers.

The bus was a good choice, only 180BHT per person.

En-route

The hotel - we opted for Kata beach instead of Patong

After settling in, it was time to go for lunch. We went round the corner and chanced upon a quaint row of little restaurants, if you could call it that. There were four of them, and we picked one randomly - best choice ever ! The food was extremely affordable (about 400BHT gets you a really decent meal, tips optional) and absolutely delicious !

where we ate, I call it the 'blue signboard restaurant' because it doesn't have a name

Pineapple rice - with real (and very sweet) pineapples !

Chicken omelette

Deep fried morning glory served with sweet chilli and/or plum sauce

Connect 4 seems to be a really popular game there, it was available at all the little Thai eateries we went to. Here's boo strategising. Nice try, but they don't call me the Connect 4 queen for nothing.

We took a walk down to the beach after lunch just to take a look-see, before heading back to the hotel for a dip in the pool. He swam, I literally 'dipped' and then planted myself on one of the lounge chairs with a backdated copy of NW magazine.

For dinner, we walked to Kata centre and decided on an Italian joint. The place is really a European ghetto, I can count on one hand the number of Singaporeans/Malaysians/Hongkies we came across. Everywhere we went we were outnumbered.

So anyway, my point being, Italian might seem like an unusual choice for Phuket, but because of the vast amount of Europeans in Phuket, European/American fare is widely available, and actually very good ! Our pasta dinner was incredibly yummy. The pasta was freshly made, the garlic bread was made with freshly baked baguette, and most importantly, the parmasean they gave me to accompany my pasta was freshly grated ! Not of the powdered variety you get at most restaurants in Singapore. And our whole meal cost only 440BHT.

They even had a real wood-fire oven for the pizza, but I'm not really a pizza fan.

Day 1 ended with me filled and happy.

Day 2

Again, another early morning for our SNUBA session ! SNUBA is basically a cross between snorkelling and scuba diving. You get to dive up to a depth of 7m, whilst being hooked up via a pipe to an oxygen tank that floats on an inflatable platform. It's two people to a platform. I was a little nervous initially about the whole breathing underwater thing, but this was a really great baby step.

The SNUBA raft

By the time we got back to the hotel I had a full-blown heat rash but completely worth it.

For dinner, we decided on somewhere a little more upmarket. We picked Two Chefs after reading some good reviews.

He had steak.

I had salmon.

And that's how we ended Day 2.

Day 3

We decided that Day 3 would be a slow one, after the strenuous (for me anyway) activities of the past couple of days. We had a heavy hotel breakfast (I loveeee hotel breakfasts' !), skipped lunch and spent the day at the beach under a brolly, with coconuts, water and a trashy novel (me).

On the way back from the beach, we had a little tiff - the only blip in our otherwise perfect holiday. It wasn't major, but resulted in about 3 hours where we played 'stony silence interspersed with bits of cordial exchange'.

It wasn't fun.

But there was a bit I find really funny now in retrospect. When we got back to the room, naturally the rules of the game dictated that we should aim to put as much distance between the both of us as possible so I sat on the farthest end of the couch, while he sat on the bed.

Initially, he did the usual channel surfing while I flipped through yet another backdated issue of NW magazine and pretended to ignore him. I'm quite good at it, but he's better.

After about half an hour, American Idol came on. Both of us had been looking forward to catching the debut of the new season so I put down my magazine and watched from my corner in the couch.

He adjusted the air con temperature and it got increasingly cold. I put on a pullover and refused to budge from my corner in an attempt to maintain my pride. But after about 15minutes, I had to get into bed and under the covers. I did however make sure to perch myself as close to the edge of the bed as possible. I suspect he tried to freeze me into bed when he adjusted the temperature. I told you he's good at this.

When it ended, he asked me very cordially if I would like to get dinner. I agreed, and so off we went. Stony silence all the way. We picked another one of those little Thai eateries.

After placing our order, the waitress put the Connect 4 between us. He calmly took it, folded it up and put it away. I pouted inside, but still refused to be the first to make nice. I had hoped we would connect over Connect 4 (pun intended), but he was really letting his stubborn streak rage out in full force - I hate how he's so good at this game.

Finally, when the food came, I could take it no more. I am a Libra and peace-loving by nature, and I didn't want our last night to end that way. So I took down the imaginary barrier and forced myself into his territory, giving him no choice but to look at me adoringly and remember just how cute I was.

After dinner, we went for a long walk around Kata centre.

We had a banana and nutella pancake

And saw the cutest wee elephant. I paid 20BHT to feed him some sugarcane and made him do the same while I went all trigger happy. The elephant actually knew how to pose!

We ended the night watching Hangover - we got a pirated copy from one of the stalls at Kata centre. Only 60BHT.

Day 4

Our last day. We woke up to another huge breakfast in the hotel, followed by lunch at the blue signboard restaurant. The staff were really nice and gave us a packet of biscuits as a going-away gift.

After lunch, we lugged our luggage onto a Tuktuk and headed to Patong to spend some time before going to the airport. Just 3 hours there and we decided that Patong really wasn't our scene. Kata is really so much nicer. It's more laid back and you don't feel like every other stall vendor is trying to con you.

We'll definitely return to Phuket. And next time, we'll rent a motorbike to see more of the island ! Oh, and maybe try para-sailing too !