Ever the emo kid

Now listening to: "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds Five

I had a flashback earlier of my teenage years. The excitement of entering secondary school, discovering the internet (making friends on the internet! sexual predators who prowled the web weren't as prevalent back then.), meeting boys.

Growing up some more, becoming somewhat withdrawn, fighting with my parents, going through phases (long hair, short hair, jap-inspired clothes, american ghetto, american high school slut - think midriffs, it wasn't less is more, it was just less and less).

Dropping out of ballet class. Finding my way back to ballet class. Dropping out of ballet class again.

Making it through the Singapore education system.

Leaving Singapore for Melbourne.

Growing up a WHOLE lot.

And through it all, I would say that songs were the constant that accompanied me through each phase of my life. I've always been more the emotionally-driven type of person, and songs are my universal language of feelings.

They take me through highs and lows, and can transform my mood from depressed one minute, to chirpy the next.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm emotionally unstable, but even just hearing a few strains of a somewhat emo song can transport me back in time to a period of moodiness and depression. It runs a shiver down my spine, and I hurry to click 'next' to move on to the next song.

I was thinking today what the soundtrack of my life would be. What songs would I select to chronicle my quarter of a century (plus one) so far.

It's a tough choice.

You know, I find song selections an extremely personal thing because I hold it so close to heart. I will never play a mixed CD when in a car with people not in my immediate bubble (and that's a very very small bubble with probably a population of one and a half - the half being Mikey). I instinctively reach for the 'FM' button on the dashboard as soon as someone steps in. I'm not sure why but it makes me feel vulnerable. Almost like I'm exposing myself, uncensored. And I find that disconcerting.

I think when someone makes you a mixed CD it's an extremely romantic gestures. It's almost as personal a message as writing a letter.

But that's just me - ruled by emotions.