And even when I think about it now, I can't see the flaw in that plan.
Anyway, this conversation started again because he did some fortune telling thing with a colleague at work. And according to this colleague, his fate said that he would have a wife who died early.
I tried asking him for more details which he either knew and didn't want to reveal, or honestly didn't know because he didn't want to dwell on it.
So naturally, being the curious eager beaver I am, I wouldn't let it go. Till he looked up from his food and gave me the saddest little look before saying, "it makes me sad to talk about it. can we not, please.". And then I zipped it.
His response caught me a little by surprise.
Even now, whenever I see glimpses of genuine love in his words, actions, tone and manner, it never fails to warm my heart, and touch a little place so deep within I didn't even know it existed.
So as much as I sometimes think I'd like to die young, I feel sad at the prospect of leaving him behind. I don't want to make him sad, because he's not a sad boy. He's cynical, yes, and sometimes evil, but for the most part, he's a genuinely simple happy boy. There's a certain childlike naivety about him that I see and I'd hate to be the reason for him not to be.
And to sum this post up, I just watched Nickelback's Far Away music video. Something about the song makes me feel like it would be a nice way to end my life. It's kinda like the song you play when the credits roll, and you see flashbacks.
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